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I usually don’t care to narrate my life at home
home is a time to relax and enjoy others company,
work i s where you actually have to do stuf by a certain time.
so you have to be mindfull of how you use your time.

I saw a lady laying in the street yesterday
she was unconcious so a bunch of us were standing around
wondering what to do for her,
i talked to some ladies standing nearby
and bummed a smoke from one of them,
she was a sales person from LA and was smoking those mini cigars
or cigarellos as they have been called.
she had blond hair and was waiting for her husband to get out of a meeting
it is hard for me to talk to pretty women, they scare the shit out of me,
i guess I was rejected by some pretty women early on
and I have no confidence around them.
so I do my best to fake confidence,
which I am sure I don’t do a good job
and they sence something is wrong
and get freeked out
then it escalates from there
or not
most of this stuff only happens in my head

I have been trying to make myself talk to women like that
so I don’t feel like I am avoiding them and creating boundries for myself.
People have a tendancy to create a box they operate inside.
A nice comfortable box where they know everything and every place.
so they don’t get stuck not knowing where they are.

Some boxes are the size of a nieghborhood,
some are the size of a small town,
some are in thier social sphere,
“I only associate with this type of person and won’t let anyone else in”
be it the ultra fake rich WASP or the
black street g keepin it real. both hate each other but don’t even know anyone who knows anyone close to each other. Creating an impassable
wall of a three dimensional box they can’t or won’t ever get out of.

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One thought on “at work again, in my box

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