I was talking to Santa the other day, he said it was funny how people “don’t believe in him”
He is a man like any other. He likes to lay around an read the newspaper, or surf the internet. Doesn’t like shoveling snow, and makes a big deal out of nothing. Like the other day he was angry when the door handle brook off of his car. It was frozen shut, and he was trying to go get some milk at the store, so he was pulling on it. and snap, it pulled off in his hand! He threw it across the yard and stomped his feet on the ground. It was hilarious to see this grown man, pitching a fit like a little child. Angrily waving his fists in the air. I was like “dude” take it easy! your going to blow a gasket. “I just hate shoddy workmanship!”
The elves and I all knew this first hand, the nights spent redesigning jack in the boxes, after they failed the use and wear tests. Everything had to be built to last an entire childhood. Hard woods seemed to be the building material of choice. Pine is abundant but too porous and doesn’t finish well. Hard rock maple is good for structures, Balsa good for flying toys, spruce is good for its weight to strength ratio. The general goal of large corporations is to create the cheapest possible product and charge the most money for it. This is why over the years things get worse and worse. People in the company are rewarded for ways to save money. And one of the main ways to save money is by using cheaper materials and cheaper labor, and cheaper everything, until the product is on the verge of being completely useless. Then over time they forget how to make even a barely useful product and the company goes out of business and people stand around scratching their heads like it is a great mystery.
So any way… back to Santa, he doesn’t really like to even be called santa, it is too formal for everyday conversation. He prefers Mr. C (like Fonzie used to call Mr. Cunningham on Happy Days). Or even Steve, anything but Santa. Unless you are a little kid, then you can say what ever you want to him. When Santa or Steve looks into the eyes of little kids it gives him hope for the future. He sees possibility. He sees the good in people. Kids make mistakes but they are learning. Adults are supposed to know better…