I have a couple of binders full of drawings that I have been digitizing. I am less than half way through the first one and I have over a hundred pages scanned. Some of the pages have multiple drawings. I feel like I have draw so many things I should be able to make a digital file of this stuff so I can just pull it up later and I won’t have to draw it again… then I can just go fishing or what ever normal non drawing people do with their free time. maybe watch football. I have never been able to sit through a full football game. I could play one, but sitting on a couch in the air conditioning watching two teams push a ball on a field seems as far from living as I can think of. I do put the game on when I need to sleep. I am sure if people read this blog this might not surprise some and annoy others but it is the truth … I cannot lie.

I forgot about this drawing, I did probably over ten years ago now. My soon to be ex wife would come over to me in bed lift up her shirt and say “itch my back” I would happily oblige . I always liked her back, so tender. I would spend hours just itching and massaging it. it would take my mind off of everything else to focus on other peoples needs. Now I am older and trying to maintain myself. I find it harder and harder to do that. I joined a gym to work on my physical self. I am trying to work on my spiritual self as well. My parents have past away so I am next in line now. it will be a while of course but not infinity. When you are at the DMV you can not pay attention to where you are in line. sure you know but you can’t dwell on it. Once you get to be the next person up, you start to really pay attention, do I have my affairs in order? all my paper work in? do I have enough money to cover the fees? you really have to be prepared because when your number is called. you don’t want to get up there to realize you are missing something and you don’t have time to go back and get it. So that is what it is like to be 42. The essence of the mid life crisis. Did you do it all? are you ok with what you didn’t do? act now! time is running out!



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