I got married at 21 and was working two jobs to go through school and get out my parents house. by 24 we had our first kid then another. My wife would go to work when I got home from my day job and get home at 11 or 11:30.  There were other kids my age at the time who had parents who sent them to collage and paid for dorm rooms and food. so All they had to do was go to class and party. They lived in little apartments and smoked lots of pot. I am sure they eventually had to grow up but that always seemed easier than what I was doing. I had a broken shitty car that I had to put a clutch in myself. I always wished I had rich parents. Even when I was like 8 I remember all the kids on my street getting a new big wheel then a green machine. I had the same red 1950’s tricylcle with hard tires that was handed down from who knows where. I am sure at one point it was the envy of the neighbor hood. But I was number 7 out of 8 kids so my parents were done with buying that sort of thing. They lived pretty frugally, and knew that I would eventually grow out of the tricycle and would no longer want or need it. This set up a angst in my head from early on. I don’t even really think it has anything to do with reality, if I was born rich I would be mad at the poor for being poor. I was born middle class so I am mad at both classes. The rich are too money focused and the poor are too pleasure focused. If i was born in a vacuum with no contact with humans I would hate my left hand because it is not as good as my right hand. It is a hopeless unwinnable argument. Most of this thinking happen when I am tired or hungry. Once I get some sleep I feel better about the world. I like to eat a sandwich every now and then as well.

in fact when I was younger I had the nickname ham sandwhich. but that is another story …


have a good day




One thought on “Part of me wants a dorm room with a Bob Marley poster in it …

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