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I have this fantasy where I am having a cook out in my backyard. It is a balmy 70 degree day no clouds. Molly Ringwald is there. and the multicultural crew from General Public is hanging out like we were all old friends. Everyone I ever knew would be there. and I would give them 20 bucks as they walked into the door for being a part of my life. I have a stereo set up in the backyard turning records from the 80’s. All alternative stuff. old pre fame rem, General public and english beat. the music is all up beat and not bitter or dark. we all are wearing cotton. with no ironic art plastered on the front. just random t-shirts from car washes or other non sense. everyone is young and unscarred by life. we all had decent home lives with caring parents that weren’t over protective or pushy. No one wanted to commit suicide or take took many drugs. we all would get buzzed and a little drunk but not puke on yourself drunk. We would smoke non filtered cigarettes and clove cigarettes or pipes. some people would have hats on. and the girls would wear sun dresses and dance spinning around no worrying about getting hit on by creeps. The nerds would not worry about getting punched. The cool people would stop trying so god damn hard to impress us and be people for once. The anorexic girls would eat hamburgers. The violent people would find some peace. the Dogs would only bark occasionally. everyone would eat on paper plates then we would burn them as fuel in a bone fire. so we didn’t waste any resources. The food would be plentiful and of many tasty varieties. then people would leave at a decent time and I would accidentally fall asleep on the couch, while some one cleaned up and sprayed air freshener around. Then this party would happen again the next week, and repeat for infinity until I just didn’t wake up anymore …

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