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ronburgandyfreehand ron burgandy looking type of guy with pentel sign pen Bartenational – 01.22.2013

10. your vices can kill you – stop smoking, eating, drinking, and all vices – ok you can’t live like that but at least cut in half what you do. make a chart and keep track of it all…

9. Car accidents can kill you – Don’t follow cars so close – where the fuck are you going that you need to be up my ass on the road? you won’t get there any faster and I might just jump out of my car and punch you in the face … 3 second rule … when the car in front of you passes a sign make sure you can count to three before you pass the same sign … I repeat when the car in front of you passes a sign make sure you can count to three before you pass the same sign …  this would make everyone a little less stressed out making our lives longer and stop you from slamming into me if there is a sudden stop …

8. Trucks can kill you – trucks are up to 6 times heavier than your stupid car. give them plenty of space. and realize they can’t stop. just imagine your face hitting the front bumper of that truck. It would hurt right? Truckers all have stories of running over someone or they know a trucker who has, because some idiot pulled out in front of them. Don’t be an idiot

7. Stupid behavior can kill you – Realize that you are an idiot and you are too stupid to know how dumb you are. – Every major mistake ever was created by someone who didn’t realize they were fucking up at the time. or they would have stopped .. duh this is almost impossible at times to know you are that idiot but realize it may be you and make planes to work with your short comings. Have real friends, or at least one. Therapists make a living being that person for many people. Priests used to hear confession. but saying your plans out loud or writing them down will help you realize if they are mistakes or not… keep this in mind …

6. Texting and driving can kill you  – slowly replacing Drunk Driving as number one way to die in a car.

5. Bad parts of town can kill you  – when you hear of some people getting shot in a certain part of town, don’t go there with a hundred dollar bill taped to your forehead. Drive around those areas. Your car could break down. Statistically speaking,  hanging out where people regularly get shot only increases your chances of getting hit by a stray bullet.

4. Law breakers or their friends can kill you – you have to mentally draw a line in the sand and set up boundaries for yourself. People who break the law can only live in a world where normal rules don’t apply. Drug abuse (pot) is one of those things where the line gets blurry. They aren’t violent right? But they do financially support a criminal element. If the dealer made no sales he would go out of business. Most crimes are around drug turf wars. the other are domestic disputes.

3. Your spouse can kill you – Get a divorce if you need to – Divorce is a horrible plight on our nation and society but needs to be there when things get ugly. Women need to get the hell away from some of these abusive men. And men need to get away from women who cause them stress. Stress is the source of many illnesses. Things start out as stress and turn into vices that turn into bad habits that kill you.

2. Your pet can kill you – people like dangerous pets. they like the idea of something powerful and deadly, but the same was a spouse can turn on you so can an animal. In fact people become blind to the potential hazards over time. A labrador doesn’t kill anything. A pit bull or a giant snake or a lizard bite or a monkey or a polar bear or a cougar all have the potential to turn on you. EVEN if your pit bull never bit you and is the most loving animal ever … bla bla bla… it could bite someone else who has a temper and that person could waste you. Nothing makes my blood boil more than some asshole with a pitbull that attacks some old lady walking her dog. This happened a few blocks over from me. I have violent fantasies about how I would handle a situation.

1. Your fear can kill you – criminals/beggars walking down the city street can tell if your afraid of them and will take advantage of you when they see that. Stare them straight in the eye and tell them no. and don’t break stride. They will still pester you but most of the time this works. Don’t give them anything, ever. they will just keep coming back.  Another way your fear can kill you is panic. You need all your senses and wits about you when your car is skidding or another car is pulling in front of you … you can’t be paralyzed by your own fear if you are going to survive. Separate your feelings from the task at hand. Same goes for emergency situations, you need to get that person to the hospital now, there is no time to wring your hands. Your feelings can be compartmentalized and put aside. This is how people do jobs like ER or army soldier.

and finally stressing over all this death can waste the good times. You have 95% of your life trouble free. Enjoy and savor the good times and don’t forget to celebrate even the smallest things. This will help you want to live. Both of my parents were on their deathbeds technically dead. Their bodies were done. but my brother lives far away and they wanted to see him before they could pass. He came to town and on two separate occasions they passed within an hour or two after they saw him. There is no reason they should be able to choose when they died. Reason dictates we are machines and biological processes and when they no longer function people die. Then how did my parents stay around? The soul and the will to live dictates your lifespan. That is why some people outlive others. They will it. Your will to live will make you swim farther, hold your breath longer, stay frozen in ice longer, have quicker reflexes, and have super powers if you want it bad enough…. Story after story tells us this…. you are worth it and your life is worth it. Find a reason to live and you will live long.

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